


Wonder How I Ever Made It Through

by lovelarry10



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anal Sex, Falling In Love, Healing, Love, M/M, Making Love, Non-Graphic Violence, Protective Louis, Recovery, Serious Injuries, Single Parent Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-18 22:58:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14223651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelarry10/pseuds/lovelarry10
Summary: Prompt 106: The shame at being incapable of it yourself.Louis loved his home and his neighbourhood. It made jogging more enjoyable. But when a boy with curly hair moves into a home down the street, neither of these men realise what changes are coming their way.Or Harry and Louis realise that all they need to be strong is love.





	Wonder How I Ever Made It Through

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from 'Two Beds and a Coffee Machine' by Savage Garden.
> 
> Massive thanks to my beta Laura for reading and correcting all my mistakes! 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Come and chat with me on Twitter:  
>  **lovelarry10:** [ @oneolddirection ](https://twitter.com/oneolddirection)

 

 

Louis jogged down the pavement, music pounding in his earbuds as his feet slammed down on the tarmac with each step. His knees were screaming, a stitch in his side made him want to stop but he kept going, determined to push through the pain barrier and hit that second mile. He waved across the street to Lauren, one of his neighbours, as she watered her rose bushes, and he stopped as a silver car reversed out of its driveway, the driver raising a hand in thanks to Louis for stopping before they sped off.

He slowed down slightly as he approached the row of houses where his own home sat, and frowned at the sight of the mysterious neighbour who had recently moved in sat on the doorstep, head in his hands. Louis stopped for a second, pulling the headphones from his ears.

“You okay?” He called out, holding back a gasp when the young man looked up at him, holding a bloody towel to his lip. He just nodded and waved, so Louis sent him a half-smile, jogging on. He reached his front door and pushed it open with his sweaty palms, heading for the kitchen to drink down the glass of water his body was desperately craving.

*****

Louis went on with his jogging for weeks. He enjoyed the time to himself - time to think, time to collect his thoughts and decide what he was going to do. He felt trapped. He had a good career as a teacher at the local primary school but he felt he was going nowhere. There were no prospects to further his career where he was, but he didn’t want to move. He loved his little house, was proud of how he had saved relentlessly to pay for it himself and it was his, only his.

He had made many friends in the neighbourhood. He wasn’t exactly a social butterfly, often choosing to stay in and watch Tv or read instead of going out but he was happy. He had quiet morning chats with Bill next door as he stretched his muscles for his run before work while the old man sat on his porch waiting for his milk delivery. The young family next door were loud but Louis loved the sound of the children shrieking with laughter as they played on their swing set or dug holes in the flowerbeds.

Only the house down the street remained a mystery to him after years of living here. He’d watched them move in about 4 months ago, and saw the couple come and go in the small hours of the day, but they never seemed to be around to chat. Louis had caught the eye of the dark-haired man several times and he’d gotten a small wave in return but never conversation. He was curious.

It was at the small corner shop that he first made contact with the man. Louis had woken up after a late evening nap to realise he was out of milk - disastrous as it meant he couldn’t have his morning tea or cereal. He’d slipped out of bed and pulled on a school hoodie and jogged to the shop, just at the bottom of the road. He’d spoken to the young girl behind the till for a few minutes before turning to grab his milk, not paying any attention to what or who might be behind him.

“Oh goodness, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” Louis said as he righted himself after tripping on someone’s foot. He brought his gaze up to land on the man he’d seen a few times when he’d been out jogging, the one who had sat with the bloody lip just under a week ago. The man nodded quickly, adjusting the carrier resting on his chest. Louis swallowed down his surprise at seeing the man with a baby and instead held out his hand.

“I’m Louis, we’ve seen each other a few times when I’ve been out jogging before work. I’m sorry, I didn’t hurt you or your baby did I?”

“No, we’re fine, honestly.” The man spoke in a deep but quiet tone, not meeting Louis’ eye. He hurried away, and Louis frowned, feeling it was a strange reaction. He waited by the till until the man came back and sat down his basket of shopping.

The young lady behind the till put it through quickly, stating the amount. The man blushed and pulled out a couple of items from the packed carrier bag. He fished out a ten pound note, and realised he needed to get rid of one thing but seemingly couldn’t, as the only things left were baby items.

“I’ve got it, take it all,” Louis said, handing over another ten pound note he slipped from his wallet. The other man began to protest but Louis set his hand on the man’s arm, hating how he flinched at the touch. “Please. I can see you need the nappies and formula, you can pay me back if you insist but it’s fine. Let me help you…” he tailed off, hoping the other man would fill in the gap of his name.

“Harry. I’m Harry. This is Violet,” he said, indicating the sleeping child against his chest. He scooped up all of the items again and pocketed the change, gaze still down. “I will drop the money through your letterbox tomorrow. Thank you.”

He hurried off, leaving a confused Louis in his wake who strolled home, past the house Harry and Violet lived in and thought it was strange it was all dark, given that Harry could only have gotten home a few minutes before now. Louis shrugged and kept walking, eventually arriving home and letting himself in through his door, putting away his milk before heading to bed, thoughts of Harry filling his mind.

*****

The next time he saw Harry was again while he was out on a run. It was a weekend this time, and Louis had woken earlier than normal. He’d kitted up, sat his iPod in the armband he’d treated himself to from his last pay packet and began his run.

It was on the home stretch he saw Harry, once again on the doorstep of his house but this time, he was curled up on his side. Louis was concerned enough to walk up to the porch and rested a hand on Harry’s side, biting his lip at the sight of the bruises on the man’s pale arm. Harry stirred, and sat up quickly.

“Louis. Erm, hi. Did you get the money, I returned it, I swear…” Louis thought he saw panic in the young man's eyes and nodded hurriedly.

“Yes, Harry I got it, thank you. But you didn’t have to. A little kindness every now and then makes the world go around, don’t you think?” Harry nodded and smiled, quickly meeting Louis’ eyes. “Erm, I don’t like to be nosy but are you okay? Is your daughter inside or…?”

“She’s with her other father. They’re inside. I, um, I needed a bit of time to think so I came out here. You better go. If he sees, I mean, you probably need to get home and rest after your run. Thanks again, bye Louis.” Harry stood and winced slightly, grabbing his ribs as he headed indoors, closing the front door quietly behind him.

Louis made his way down the porch steps and stood on the pavement, observing the house. His forehead creased as he caught sight of a serious looking face gazing at him from out of what Louis assumed was the living room window, and Louis raised a hand in greeting. Instead of it being returned, the man glared and let the curtain drop into place. Louis sighed and started his music again, deciding he needed another lap around the block to deal with his thoughts.

*****

Louis watched from his front garden as Harry hobbled up the path, supporting the baby carrier in the crook of his elbow while his, partner?, Louis wasn’t sure. Anyway, the other, much taller man, strode ahead, leaving Harry to struggle with the carrier alone despite obviously suffering with some sort of pain. Louis made to stand and head over but Harry must have seen the movement.

He shook his head frantically at Louis, a look of slight desperation in his eyes which made Louis worry all the more. He chose to stay put and watch from afar, mentally cataloguing everything he saw. Harry returned back outside again to the car, fetching multiple shopping bags and shuffling back inside with his limp getting more pronounced.

Later that day, Louis watched as the other man got into his car and drove away, prompting Louis to make a quick decision. He walked up his garden path and headed four houses up, knocking lightly on Harry's front door in case the baby was sleeping. There was no answer, and Louis was about to walk away when the door slowly creaked open, Harry's green eyes peering through the slight gap.

“Hey, erm, can I come in?” Louis asked nervously, fiddling with the small plaited band on his right wrist one of his class members had given him earlier in the week he hadn’t yet had the heart to remove. He held his breath, waiting for Harry's answer and eventually the door opened, Harry beckoning him inside quickly and shutting the door behind him.

“Come to the sitting room but you can’t stay long Louis, he’ll be home soon,” Harry said, glancing out of the window as Louis sat before hurrying out of the room when he heard the cry of a baby. Louis followed the sound into the kitchen and watched as Harry struggled to support the crying infant as well as prepare her bottle. He stepped over, holding his arms out.

“Here, let me hold her for you. I’m a teacher, I’m good with kids,” he said with a grin and reluctantly, Harry handed the baby over, watching as Louis started rocking her, her cries subsiding somewhat as he shook the creamy liquid in the bottle. For some reason, he handed the bottle to Louis who expertly held Violet in the crook of his arm and started feeding her, smiling down at her big blue eyes as she sucked hungrily.

“She likes you.” Harry spoke quietly into the room, following Louis into his sitting room, taking a seat on the armchair by the window so he could see. “She’s usually a quiet baby, I’m so sorry she cried so loudly, you probably didn’t like it, I’ll keep her quiet-“

“Hey. She’s a baby, they cry, love. It’s fine. I’ve helped my mum raise my six siblings so trust me, her little cry is nothing to me. Anyway, you don’t have apologise for anything. Actually I came over because I wanted to see if you were okay. You were limping earlier and, well, are you alright?”

Harry's gaze fell back to the floor again as he nodded his head. Louis noticed the faded bruises on his arms were still there, as was a red patch on his lower right calf. The baby started pushing away her bottle, and Louis grabbed a Muslin cloth from the table and threw it over his shoulder, ready to burp the little girl. Once that was done, Harry set her onto her play mat on the floor, watching as she batted at the colourful toys dangling above her.

“Please don’t ask questions. I’m fine, Violet is fine. Honestly Louis. I appreciate you caring but we’re fine.” Louis nodded, realising he wasn’t going to get anywhere today with Harry, and that pushing him would only make it worse.

“Okay. Well you know where I am if you need anything. I’d better go, marking to do and worksheets to print out,” he said, standing up. He walked over to Violet and waved at her before leaving the room and stopping at the front door. “I mean it, Harry. Day or night, you need anything, come find me. Promise?” He didn’t know why but he had a feeling Harry needed to know he had somewhere safe to go.

A whispered “I promise” fell from Harry's lips then and he slipped through the door, waving silently as he jogged up the street. Ten minutes after he arrived home and was sat weeding his flowerbed, he saw the familiar car pull into the drive and watched the muscular man hurry up his drive, slamming the front door of his house behind him. Louis could only hope Harry and Violet were okay behind closed doors.

*****

Louis didn’t see Harry and Violet for a while after that. He’d made sure to jog slowly past their house every morning he’d gone for his run, and had even paused to stretch outside the house when he’d been out early too but the house remained dark, almost as if no-one lived there. The only clue that someone was about was the pushchair folded up on the porch, and the two cars in the driveway. Louis didn’t have any way to contact Harry so he simply decided to keep an eye out, hoping that if Harry needed to, he’d come and find him. Little did he know of what was to come.

*****

Louis had just settled down with a glass of wine, starting the new series he’d been dying to watch on Netflix. It was a chilly October evening, and Louis reached for the blanket he always kept draped on the back of the sofa, pulling it down and across his lap. Louis was completely absorbed by the action on the screen in front of him that he thought the banging he heard was on the TV. It wasn’t until a quieter dialogue scene that he realised it was his own front door.

He grabbed his phone lighting up the screen to see the time when the banging started again. He hurried to the door, wondering who would be hammering at someone’s door in the middle of the night. He threw it open ready to shout at whoever was making a racket, but the sight in front of him made him stop dead. Harry was there, tears streaming down his face in just a t shirt and shorts, and Violet was crying in his arms too, clad only in a small baby-gro despite the weather.

“Louis, please, let us in, he’s going to come and find us, please help-” Louis hustled them in quickly through the door, slamming it and locking it with the key, pushing the deadbolt across for good measure before taking the baby from Harry and unzipping his hoodie, putting her against his warm body, fastening the top around her again. He pushed Harry with his free hand into his living room and onto his sofa, draping a blanket over his freezing form.

“Don’t ask questions, please-” Harry begged, shivering where he sat, lips almost blue with cold. Louis silently wondered how long the pair had been out in the freezing evening, and instead of speaking, hurried to the kitchen, flicking on the kettle. He rummaged around in a bottom cupboard, sure he had some bottles left over from when his mum had brought the twins over a few weeks ago. He shuffled the baby around against his chest, pleased to see the bottles and milk Jay had left.

He made 2 cups of strong tea, and prepared a bottle. He wasn’t even sure it was the milk Violet had, but he knew hungry babies would drink most things, so set about shaking it, returning to the sitting room with Harry’s tea in his hands. Harry was still trembling but his tears had ceased. Now that the light was on, Louis bit back a gasp as he saw the bruises littered around Harry’s biceps and his chest.

Violet started to whimper again and Louis went back to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle and a spare blanket from his bedroom. He set the baby on the living room floor, wrapping her up warmly before inserting the plastic teat into her mouth, watching her drink hungrily, staring up at Louis knowingly with her beautiful blue eyes. Her snow white skin contrasted with the dark blue blanket Louis had wrapped around her, and he flicked his eyes over, locking with Harry’s for a moment.

“He loves us, he does,” Harry began, still sipping at his tea. “He just struggles with the crying and the pressure of providing for a family. He never means to hurt me, he loves me-”

“Harry, you know that’s just not true, don’t you? You don’t ever hurt someone you love, not ever. And she’s a baby, they cry. She’s so beautiful Harry. How old is she?”

“7 months,” Harry said proudly, a big smile on his face now. “We adopted her when she was 4 weeks old. Brought her home, and finally brought our house about 4 months ago. That’s when, well, when things went wrong I guess.” He finished the last of his tea, arms open for his baby girl. Louis finished burping her and handed her over to Harry, making sure the pair were wrapped up.

“Are you hurt?” Louis asked softly, wanting to make sure Harry didn’t need any medical treatment. The quiet man shook his head, staring down at his baby girl as she started to fall asleep. Louis hopped up off the sofa and rifled around in his understairs cupboard, producing a small folded up travel cot, again left over from his baby siblings. He took it through to his own bedroom and set it up next to the bed, pushing some stained blue sheets over it, knowing they were clean despite the stains.

He headed back into the living room and smiled at Harry and Violet. Harry was now asleep against the corner of the sofa, Violet snuggled against his chest. Louis roused Harry carefully knowing he couldn’t sleep there with Violet, and smiled at the man as he came to, eyes flicking around the room looking for something, relaxing when he didn't see it.

“Stay here tonight,” Louis said softly, Harry staring at him with wide open eyes. “I have a travel cot Violet can stay in, and you can stay in my room with her. I’ll take the spare room, you two will be safe here, I promise. I’ll look after you.” Harry looked as if he were going to refuse, but when he stared down at his sleeping daughter, something changed and he nodded, carefully getting to his feet. Louis watched as Harry made quick work of changing her nappy and laying her into the bed, kissing her cheek before he tucked himself him, calling goodnight to Louis, who pulled the door closed behind him.

By the time Louis awoke the next morning, Harry and Violet had gone, a little note left on his pillow.

_ Louis, _

_ Thank you so much for last night. I appreciate it more than you will ever know. But please, keep it to yourself. It was just a misunderstanding. _

_ Harry _

Louis sighed and tucked the note away in his bedside drawer, collapsing back onto his bed, the sheets smelling like someone else for the first time in what felt like forever.

*****

A few days later, Harry was rolling around the grass of his front garden with Violet when Louis jogged by. He quickly removed the ear phones from his ears and smiled, waving to the pair before crossing the street to join them. Harry handed him a bottle of water that was stuck in the side of the baby bag he had with him, and despite the fact it was now early November, the sun was warm on their skin.

“Hey,” Louis began, waving at Violet who giggling and flapping her arms in excitement. “Can I-?” he gestured to the baby as Harry nodded, smiling as Louis picked her up, bouncing her on his thighs. She babbled away and batted at his cheeks, Harry hurrying to apologise.

“So, how have things been?” Harry just shrugged, sipping at his own water bottle now. Louis set the baby down on the grass, and watched as she crawled unsteadily back to her daddy, tapping on his legs until he sat her on his lap, passing her a bottle which she eagerly grabbed for.

“We’re fine Louis, thank you again for the other night. I shouldn’t have come knocking so late, but you were so kind to take us in. I’ve dealt with things, it’ll be okay now.”

“Harry-” he flinched as Louis laid a soft hand on his leg, on top of the denim encasing them. “What he did to you is not okay, it’s never okay. You should report him, and stay away. Surely he’s a risk to you and Violet if he’s violent-”

“Louis, he isn’t. I annoyed him, I upset him and it was my fault. I should really get Vi inside for her nap, thanks again, we won’t bother you anymore. Enjoy your run.” He quickly scooped Violet up and held her against his torso as Louis passed him the bag on the floor, and headed inside, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Louis jogged on down the street, slowing down when a familiar car drove past him, the brake lights coming on just before it reached Harry’s house. Louis stared, noticing dark eyes looking back at him in the rearview mirror but instead of greeting him like he had tried before, Louis just turned away and headed on home, unable to shake the thought of a frightened Harry and Violet in the house with that monster.

*****

It was a few weeks later when it all finally came to a head. Louis had had a long parent’s evening at his school, enjoying meeting the parents of his class, telling them about how well the students were doing, sending them home with glowing reports. He always made sure every parent got a good comment about their child, and was pleased at how receptive the parents were of the children who needed a little more academic support.

He’d grabbed a takeaway on the way home, too late to cook and he just wanted to veg out in front of the sofa for a few hours before going to bed. Rain was lashing down against the windows and Louis could hear the rumble of thunder in the distance. The microwave pinged and he padded through to the kitchen in his sweats and socks, scooping out the Tikka Masala into a bowl, stirring it round as the steam billowed from it.

He flicked on an old episode of Friends, keen to watch something that didn’t need much attention as he blew on the piping hot food, chewing slowly as he chuckled to himself at the familiar comedy. A smash sounded outside and Louis frowned, wondering if it was the weather wreaking havoc in their neighbourhood. Loud voices came through then, and Louis couldn’t help but get up to peer out of his window.

There was a dark figure in the distance, hovering over someone or something on the pavement. Louis couldn’t see clearly through the rain, but something about it made his blood run cold. He grabbed his jacket from the banister and opened his front door, immediately getting soaked by the torrential downpour that seemed to be coming out of nowhere. He headed out, phone clutched in his hand just in case and when he realised who it was, his heart stopped.

Harry was curled in a ball on the pavement, a familiar muscular figure bending over him, screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs. Harry’s eyes flew to Louis and in a split second Louis knew what he had to do.

He ran past the men, sprinting through Harry’s front door and up the stairs, in the direction of the crying baby. He waved at her, heart pounding as he grabbed her bag, shoving in all manner of items; clothes, nappies, wipes, anything and everything he could think of. He flung the long strap over his body and scooped up Violet, blankets and all, and thundered down the stairs, wrapping his jacket around her to protect her.

He didn’t stop as someone screamed his name, putting the baby into the travel cot he’d yet to put away, leaving her with a teddy while he headed back outside. He hated leaving her alone, but he couldn’t leave Harry in that state. By the time he reappeared outside, the man and his car were gone, but Harry was still in a heap on the ground. With a strength he didn’t know he possessed, Louis picked Harry up bridal style, and carried him down the street and into his house, laying his bruised and bloodied body down, cringing at the sight of him.

He slipped into the first-aider mode he turned into at work whenever a child was hurt and hurried to the kitchen, grabbing a bowl of warm water, gauze pads, plasters and anything he thought would come in handy. Harry was still out cold as Louis tended to his wounds, gently wiping at the cuts and grazes, stripping him from the sodden clothing, chucking them in the bin before redressing Harry in some of his own clothes.

As Harry warmed up on the sofa, Louis rushed back upstairs, pleased to see Violet was still sleeping soundly, tucked under her blanket Louis had brought from home. He leant over, pressing a kiss to her small forehead and closed the door behind him, letting her rest. He sat in the armchair in his sitting room watching Harry, waiting for him to wake.

As he did, Louis pushed himself out of his chair and crouched down, pushing Harry’s shoulders back onto the sofa, shushing him.

“You’re okay Harry, you’re safe. I’ve got you, just stay there, you’re going to be sore-”

“Violet, fuck, where’s my daughter, Louis, if he’s got her-”

“She’s upstairs, Harry. I went and got her first, she’s asleep and safe, I promise. I told you I wouldn’t let any harm come to her. I’ve cleaned you up as well, and I’ve changed your clothes. But Harry, I’m not letting it go this time. You have to phone the police and we need to press charges. This isn’t right.”

Silence fell over the room for a minute before Harry started to cry quietly, covering his face with his hands. Louis felt a little awkward, unsure if Harry would want comfort but was unable to stop himself, gently removing Harry’s hands from his face before he wrapped his arms tightly around him. Harry clutched at him, sobbing into Louis’ jumper as he released all of his emotions in one go.

They must have sat there while Harry cried for at least fifteen minutes and they only broke apart when Louis heard Violet’s distant cries. He settled Harry back, promising to bring his daughter down. He went into the room slowly, not wanting to scare the little girl and saw her sitting on the bottom of the cot, blanket stuffed in her mouth, tears falling down her red cheeks.

“Hey, little love,” he said quietly, hovering at the sides until she rose her arms, wanting to be held. Louis complied, and grabbed her blanket, heading back down the stairs and handing her off to Harry who cried again when he saw her, unharmed and babbling away again. Louis made them both tea and Violet a bottle, handing the plastic container over to Harry who curled up in the corner of the sofa, feeding his daughter, complete love in his eyes.

“I’m scared, Louis,” he said quietly, not making eye contact with the other man just yet. “I’m not strong enough to do this. I’m scared and I want to protect Violet and myself, but I can’t do this alone. I can’t.” He glanced up through teary eyelashes at Louis who placed a caring hand on top of Harry’s against Violet’s leg.

“You aren’t alone.” Harry’s eyes locked with his then. “You have me, I promise. I know I’m just a stranger, but you can trust me Harry. Tomorrow, we’ll go to the police station, and file a report. I won’t leave your side, and I’ll look after Violet. You can stay here as long as you like, but I promise, I won’t leave you, not if you don’t want me to.”

Harry just nodded, picking up the baby and burping her softly, settling her against his chest where she seemed happiest. After a while, Louis lifted her off and carried her upstairs, settling her in the travel cot in his room before returning downstairs to help Harry up the stairs. Harry winced as he got up, his muscles screaming in pain, cuts on his face and jaw red and raw from his earlier beating. Louis placed a gentle arm around Harry’s waist as they slowed went up the stairs, one at a time.

Harry climbed into bed beside his daughter, and when Louis thought he had finally dozed off, he started to move carefully off the bed, ready to retreat to the spare room before the next day rolled around. He’d just stood up when a trembling hand darted out and encircled his wrist.

“Please don’t leave me,” Harry whispered, still hunkered down under the covers. Louis nodded and climbed into bed next to Harry, feeling the other man pull him closer with his hand, not letting go of Louis for a second. Louis shuffled right up against Harry’s back, sensing he needed the comfort and they fell asleep entwined, Louis vowing to protect these two souls to hell and back if he had to.

*****

The next morning came, and honestly, Louis was shocked at how awful Harry looked in the cold light of day. He quickly picked up Violet who was chewing on her blanket, heading downstairs to give her her morning bottle, letting Harry sleep it off. Louis left Violet on the rug in his sitting room for a minute while he popped outside, pleased to see that Harry’s partners car still wasn’t home. He took the keys he’d taken from Harry’s house and ran down the pavement, entering the home and grabbing a few more things for Violet and Harry, shoving them into a sports bag he saw at the bottom of Harry’s wardrobe.

By the time he got home, Harry was on the sofa, watching his daughter crawl around on the floor, exploring her new surroundings.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Louis asked, throwing down the bag in the corner of the room, watching as Harry frowned at it. “Grabbed you a few more things from your house while he wasn’t there. Hope that was okay?”

Louis just stood in surprise as Harry struggled to his feet, heading over to Louis and wrapping him a tight hug, never wanting to let go. “Thank you so much,” Harry whispered shakily into his ear. “I’m never going to be able to thank you enough for what you’ve done for us.”

“You don’t ever have to, Harry,” he said in reply, feeling tears prickle at the back of his own eyes at Harry’s gratitude and surprise over someone being nice to him. “You and Violet don’t deserve what he did. No-one does. And I meant what I said last night. We’re going to the police station today and reporting him, okay?”

Harry nodded, still trembling. Louis sat him back down on the sofa and sat next to him, thighs pressing against the others as they sat watching the little girl in front of them, unaware of the drama around her. Louis flicked the TV on to a children’s channel, and prepared he himself and Harry a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, knowing Harry would need something to line his stomach. They ate on their knees in the sitting room, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse blaring in the background but it seemed to relax Harry somehow.

They dressed, Louis picking a warm set of dungarees and a little purple jumper for Violet, and Harry came down in a pair of his own skinny jeans, but with one of Louis’ hoodies on.

“Is this okay?” he said nervously, pulling at the hem of the top, the baggy nature of it on Louis meant it fit Harry quite well.

“Of course,” Louis said with a smile, picking up Violet and setting her on his hip. They’d decided to walk across town together, the storm of last night breaking to make way for the sunshine of today. Louis had grabbed her pushchair earlier and strapped her in, taking command of it as they strolled down the street together. Harry grew quieter the closer they got to the police station, and Louis noticed his trembling hands so sat them down on a nearby bench, fixing Violet’s blanket over her feet again.

“I can’t- Louis, I can’t do this - I want to go, I’m too scared-” Harry was breathing quickly now, and Louis pushed the pushchair to one side, crouching between Harry’s parted legs. He placed his hands, one of each thigh, and encouraged Harry to look at him.

“You can. I know you can. For you, and for that amazing little girl sat right there. You have to, Harry. You have to protect yourself. I know you don’t want to, but you can do this. Breathe with me - in, out, in - that’s it love.” Louis didn’t move until he was sure Harry had calmed himself down enough, and he stood, holding out a hand to pull Harry up.

Harry did stand, but he didn’t release Louis’ hand, instead holding on tightly as they walked down the street, Louis pushing the pushchair with his free hand. They stopped outside the doors of the station, and Harry took a deep breath, squeezing Louis’ hand as they stepped inside.

“Don’t leave me. Please.” Harry whispered as they walked over to the desk.

“Never,” Louis said quietly back, loudly enough Harry could hear, feeling him tremble next to him as they greeted the police officer behind the desk. Harry cleared his throat and went to speak but couldn’t, tears filling his eyes at his incapability to even do this. His breathing got shallow, and he looked to Louis, needing something from him. Louis knew what it was before Harry could even speak, so stepped forwards, not letting go of Harry’s hand for even a second.

“We’d like to report an assault.”

*****

**5 months later.**

“You can do it… go on love!” Louis called from across the sitting room, a huge grin on his face. He was still dressed in his suit from their earlier appearance in court. Harry was opposite him on the other side of the room, Violet’s little fingers clutching at his hands as she rocked unsteadily on her feet, a determined look on her little face. Harry drew his hands back and she stood for a moment, taking three shaky steps towards Louis’ outstretched arms before falling with a thud onto her nappy clad bottom, both men clapping and cheering wildly for her.

“Clever girl!” Louis said, jumping to his feet and grabbing her under the arms, flinging her into the air despite the fact he knew Harry hated when he did that. He kissed her red cheek and waved her little hand at Harry, still on the floor in his charcoal grey shirt and smart black trousers, sock clad feet folded under him. “Okay, love?” Louis questioned softly, knowing Harry had struggled today.

It was the final day in court for him and he’d been forced to confront his ex-partner, stand up in front of him while he was cross-examined, forced to look at photos of his injuries while being accused of all manner of things. He’d nearly broken but Louis had got his attention across the room, focusing Harry's gaze on his and together, they'd got through. Harry had cried on the way home and Louis had pulled over in a quiet road, letting Harry sob into his chest for a while, getting out all his emotion before they collected Violet from her childminder. It hurt him to see how badly Harry was affected, how much pain he was in reliving those awful, dark days but he hoped he was helping Harry to see that he deserved more, that he deserved to be loved and cherished.

“Yeah. I am now Lou,” Harry said as he stood, holding out his arms for his daughter. “But I think someone is a hungry baby, isn’t that right?!” He squeaked into Violet’s tummy, making the baby giggle at her dad’s actions. “Wanna get takeaway tonight? My treat.”

“Sure babe, pizza?” Louis called, fetching the menu from the pin board in their kitchen. Since that fateful night five months ago, Harry had actually never left. Louis had refused to let him return home for anything more than to pick up his things and when the man was arrested and given a restraining order, Harry still hadn’t wanted to go home. He’d shakily asked Louis if he could please stay a few more days while he looked for a hotel room, and Louis had replied by repainting his guest room, buying a new cot for Violet and insisting Harry move in with him.

Harry had been stunned but had accepted, feeling oddly comfortable and at home with this near-stranger. In fact, Louis’ house felt more like home than his first place ever did. Harry hated having to walk past his old home but doing so made him feel stronger, like he’d finally broken free and had made something of himself. He felt… proud.

Their own relationship has blossomed as a result of spending so much time together, too. At first, they were friends. Harry spending night after night confiding in Louis about his relationship, how he’d been too scared to do anything except let things carry on as they were. One night, after a tearful hour of confessions, Harry had asked Louis to hold him again as he slept, which Louis did. This was quite normal for the pair but Louis was stunned when Harry rolled over and kissed him goodnight, on the lips.

Harry had stuttered, wondering if he’d made a huge mistake, thinking he’d thrown away the one good thing he finally had in his life when Louis gently cradled his face in his small hands and pressed their lips back together again. The kiss remained chaste, just their soft lips working together but that was enough. Louis knew that was a big step for Harry, and things had progressed between the pair slowly and steadily. They hadn’t gone past touching, Harry not ready for any more intimacy than that, but Louis knew deep down he’d wait as long as it took for Harry. He was gone for the boy.

They all ate pizza together, letting Violet suck on some crusts. She started to doze in her little bouncer chair and Harry scooped her up, heading upstairs to change her into her little yellow pyjamas Louis had bought her the other day, loving how quickly she fell asleep in her white wooden cot. He returned quietly downstairs to Louis, curling up against him on the sofa as Louis wrapped an arm around him.

“I was really proud of you today, you know,” Louis spoke softly, running a finger through Harry's recently cut curls. He’d told Louis a few weeks ago he’d had long hair throughout his relationship and he needed a change. Louis encouraged him to do what he wanted, and had spent hours kissing Harry, telling him how beautiful he looked when he came home minus his long locks one afternoon.

“I never thought I’d be strong enough, Lou. I was ashamed that I let him hurt me, that I didn’t protect myself or Violet more. I’m ashamed it took me so long to walk away, and I’m ashamed I couldn’t go and report him by myself. I’m so grateful for you, Lou. You made me strong enough to walk away, report him and actually stand up in court and tell everyone what he did to me. I know I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you Lou, for making me do this.”

“This was all you, love. You stood up and told the world what he did. You walked away and protected yourself and Violet. You left him. You’re stronger than you think, my love. I’m so proud of you. You don’t have to be ashamed of anything, least of all it taking what it did for you to walk away. Everything you did took such courage and you did the right thing, you just needed someone to hold your hand and support you. I’m thankful you’ve let me be that person.”

Harry cuddled in to his side then, kissing Louis’ cheek softly. He murmured something that Louis didn’t quite catch, and Louis pulled away, looking at Harry in the eyes then. “Sorry babe, I missed that, did you say something?”

“I said…” Harry tailed off then, cheeks flushing. “I love you, Lou.” It was the first time he’d used those words to someone other than Violet in a long time, but it felt right somehow. His heart pounded in his chest, putting himself out there like that was nerve-wracking but it needed to be said. And honestly, he did love Louis, so very much.

“I love you too, Harry. I have for so long. I’ve waited to tell you as I didn’t want to freak you out, but I do. Both of you. I love Violet too. I hope you know that.” Harry surged forwards to kiss him then, and their lips met, both men pushing forwards the passion within them towards the other man, needing the contact and intimacy with each other.

After a few heated minutes of kissing, Harry pulled away, unbuttoning his shirt and letting in fall to the floor. Louis glanced down, taking in his torso, littered with tattoos and scars, not flinching at the sight of them as Harry once thought he would. He settled down on Louis’ lap, welcoming the feel of Louis’ hands on his hips as they began to kiss again.

Eventually, Harry pulled away and stood, hauling Louis to his feet opposite him. Louis stretched his spine and smiled lazily at Harry, loving how Harry laced their fingers together as they stood toe to toe in their home, surrounded by Violet’s things, a recent photo of her proudly hung on the wall behind Louis, something he loved to see whenever he came home from work and she was asleep.

“Lou,” Harry breathed out, shallow breaths giving away his nerves. “Come to bed and make love to me. Please.”

Louis stuttered, unable to believe Harry had finally told he wanted that with him. He’d honestly been prepared to wait forever if that’s what Harry had wanted but now he’d said it, there was nothing Louis wanted more than to take his boyfriend to bed and show him how much he loved him. In lieu of words, Louis took his hand and guided him up the stairs, feeling nervous for some reason now.

They both poked their head in Violet’s room first, happy to see she was still sleeping soundly and closed her door. They made their way to their bedroom and closed their own door, a habit they had at bedtime regardless of the fact there was no-one who could walk in. Harry had always had a thing about shutting doors, feeling safe and Louis was happy to oblige him.

Harry decided he had to be brave and fiddled with the waistband of his trousers, letting them drop with a thud to the floor. He stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. This was okay. He and Louis often walked around in their boxers in the mornings, both sleeping in just their underwear so this felt normal. Usually, he had on one of Louis’ old sports tops but still, underwear was good. It felt safe. Expected.

Louis, however, knew Harry was taking a step with him he hadn’t taken in a long time. They’d seen each other naked of course, when Harry was coming out of the shower or just getting changed. But it was perfunctory, factual. There was nothing more behind it than a human body doing what it was meant to do. Now though, now there was intent behind their undressing and Harry looked, well, scared.

“It’s okay. If you’re not ready Harry, you know it’s okay. I won’t push you.”

“But I want this Lou, with you. I do. I just, god, this sounds stupid.” Louis took Harry’s hands, holding them in his own, steadying and grounding him. He quickly released them to strip himself of his top and joggers, leaving him equally undressed. He grabbed Harry’s sweaty hands again before speaking.

“It’s not stupid Harry, not after what he put you through. Never stupid. You know I’ll never think that of you. But don’t feel you have to tell me, love.”

Harry let out a deep breath. “Okay. I want to tell you, to help you understand me. Okay. It’s just, well, no-one's ever made love to me before. It’s always been to get him off, to make him feel good. I was always an afterthought, and I’ve never really enjoyed it. Sex, that is. But I want to with you, Louis. I want it to be different and I want it to mean something more.” Louis nodded and kissed Harry softly, understanding now what he needed from this.

“I’ll take care of you. I love you Harry, let me show you how much. Okay?” His hands slid around to the waistband of Harry’s boxers and he gently pushed his fingers underneath, delving no further than the soft skin of his waist. They kissed while Louis worked his small fingers against Harry's warm flesh, and soon, he felt Harry’s hand against his skin too.

“Can I-“ Harry breathed out, still unsure of his actions. Louis nodded and allowed Harry to take control, pushing Louis’ underwear down until they hit the floor, leaving him naked and exposed in front of his boyfriend. Harry’s breath hitched as he took in the sight and Louis took his hand, walking Harry over to the bed and laying him down on his back, Louis climbing on next to him. They kissed a bit more until Louis started to nudge at the top of Harry's own underwear and Harry just nodded.

Seconds later, both men were bare and Louis gazed at his perfect body. He took a few moments to kiss over every scar Harry had, accepting them as part of him and his past, but ensuring they were not something Harry would ever have to dwell on or face ever again. Harry moaned lightly at the touch, always maintaining some form of contact with Louis’ body, not wanting to let go.

“Do you want me on top or you-“ Louis whispered as Harry shook his head at the last remark, biting his lip as Louis’ hand drifted further south, sending shivers up Harry’s spine. “Me?” Harry just nodded in reply, overwhelmed already at what was finally happening between them. “God I love you, you know. So much. You’ll never have to be scared again Harry, not as long as you are with me. I’ll never lay a finger on you that isn’t done through love and want, because you’re everything.”

Silent tears tracked down Harry's cheeks as the words Louis spoke started to sink in, unable to believe that finally he had met someone who loved him for him, that wanted him. All he’d ever felt from  _ him _ was hatred, lust, indifference. But with Louis, he felt desired. Wanted. Loved. This, he realised with a jolt, was what it felt like to be loved and to be in love.

“Are you sure you want this?” Harry nodded again, unable to speak. “Okay. We’ll take it slow, baby. I promise.” He reached into his bedside drawer, taking out the small bottle of lube he hadn’t used in far too long, and hesitated for a second before pulling out a condom.

“Um. Lou. I’m clean. After he went, I got tested in case. I’ve actually never done it without a condom. Never wanted him like that. But, uh-“ he blushed and buried his head in the pillow, cheeks flaming.

“You want me to go bare, love? I’m clean too, never been with anyone without either. Would love to feel you like this, if that’s what you want?”

“I do want. I want everything with you, Lou. I want happiness, and a home, and, god. Everything.” Louis smiled widely and pushed the condom back into the drawer, relieved they’d been adult enough to discuss this before having sex and regretting it. He snicked open the bottle and coated his fingers, settling between Harry’s parted legs, coaxing them open with his clean hand. Harry covered his face with his arm, mumbling out “Sorry. Shy.”

“Don’t be. Not with me. Never with me. You’re so beautiful everywhere love. Let me see you, please?” Harry's response was to let his legs fall open over Louis’, exposing himself. Louis reached a tentative hand out, stroking the soft, pale skin of Harry's inner thigh, watching the goosebumps follow his every move. “So perfect. Love you. Gonna make you feel so good baby.”

Louis worked slowly but steadily, working Harry open with his gentle fingers, not doing anything until Harry gave him permission to do so. He spent a few minutes just rubbing over Harry’s entrance, moving the lube around before Harry allowed him inside, soon working up to three fingers, kissing Harry through it, telling him as much as he could how perfect he was, and how he deserved the world.

“Are you ready sweetheart?” Louis said softly as he removed his fingers, feeling slightly nervous now. It had been a while for him, but also for Harry, and he felt there was a lot riding on this.

“Please. Hold my hand, Lou?” Louis shifted his body so he was bearing his weight on one arm, the other holding Harry’s hand as requested. He lined up and rubbed the head of his dick against Harry’s open hole and slowly pushed forwards, stopping when just the head slipped in. “God. Lou-“

“Okay, baby? Want me to keep going?” Harry nodded, unable to believe Louis was checking with him before doing so, nothing like the sex he’d ever had before. All  _ he  _ used to do was push it in and start fucking Harry, regardless of whether or not Harry was ready for it. Louis, though, well he was a revelation.

He slowly pressed inside until he bottomed out, his hips resting against Harry’s backside, legs draped around his waist. His hand hadn’t left Harry’s, and he kissed him like his life depended on it, his free hand stroking against Harry’s chest, brushing across his tattoos and scars without a second thought.

“You can, oh god Louis, you can move,” Harry uttered out in a deep voice, his chest rumbling against Louis’ where they were pressed together. Louis nodded and slowly started to move his hips, letting his cock slide slowly in and out of Harry’s body, not putting any force behind the motions, wanting him to just enjoy the feeling and make it pleasurable. “I love this, love you - no one’s ever made me feel like this, oh! Lou-“ he moaned lowly as Louis shifted, changing his angle slightly.

“I love you, more,” Louis muttered softly, wanting Harry to feel completely loved. He kept his hips moving at a slow and steady pace, there being no need for anything to get frantic. This was Louis finally being able to show Harry how much he loved him and wanted to take care of him, and it meant the world to him that Harry was letting him in in this way. Their bodies rocked together slowly, slick with sweat, cheeks red with lust and exertion, and Louis never wanted to be anywhere else.

The feel of Harry’s body around his cock was sublime and Harry was entirely still beneath him, legs propped up on Louis’ lower back. He was making small noises of pleasure, kissing Louis softly as he moved inside him, and he allowed his eyes to flutter closed, letting the pleasure take over. At that moment, Harry didn’t know why he had been nervous about this, because of course his Louis would always take care of him.

“Are you close baby, I am, want so badly to come inside you,” Louis mumbled out, still moving slowly inside Harry, their hands linked besides Harry’s head. Harry just nodded, sucking Louis’ bottom lip between his own, biting down gently. He’d never had someone show him so much love, and it was giving him confidence to behave in a new way towards Louis, wanting him to feel as much love as Louis was giving him right now. Louis picked up his pace slightly then, shuffling closer so his cock penetrated deeper inside Harry’s willing body.

“Touch yourself sweetheart,” Louis whispered, wanting Harry to bring himself to climax with him. Louis felt the movement of Harry’s hand between their bodies and let his gaze fall down, watching as Harry stroked himself, moaning at the feel. Louis allowed himself a few deep thrusts before letting go, mumbling Harry’s name and clutching his hands as he released deep inside of him, Harry kissing Louis passionately as he felt Louis fill him up with his come and his love.

“Oh my god, Louis, love you, Lou-“ Harry groaned before coming himself, his hot release spurting all over his own torso and Louis’ too. Louis didn’t stop kissing him until their breaths slowed, and he carefully pulled out of Harry, hating how Harry winced at the sensation. He rolled onto his side and pulled Harry’s bare body against his own, resting a hand over his heart, feeling it thumping under his touch.

“You are so perfect Harry, you know that? I feel I don’t tell you enough how strong you are for getting through what you did. He hurt you, he broke you and you picked yourself up and carried on, you raised a wonderful daughter, and you’ve let me love you. And I do, I love you so much.”

“You made me strong, Lou. You let me believe I was worthy of being loved, and that I deserved your love. I wasn’t brave enough to do this, to stand up to him and admit what he did to me without you, but with you by my side, I feel I can do anything. I feel I don’t have to be afraid anymore. Because of you.” He tilted his chin up then to kiss Louis, and they pulled the sheet over them, their bodies soon cooling down after their lovemaking.

Their silence was interrupted by a sudden cry from Violet, and Louis pushed Harry back down into the mattress, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, pulling on his boxers as he stood. He left the room and returned five minutes later, a red cheeked Violet in his arms, looking for her daddy. Harry had hurried to change the sheets, and held out his arms for her, Violet leaning over from Louis into them.

Louis went downstairs and made up a bottle, and grabbed the calpol. The little girl had been teething for days now, and the pair of them had been doing everything they could to ease her pain. He got back into bed next to his boy and watched as Harry carefully fed his daughter. She pushed the bottle away after a few minutes and crawled around on the sheets, looking at Louis and Harry who were both smiling at her.

“Love you,” Louis whispered to Harry, making him turn and smile at him, a grin lighting up his face. “And I love you, baby girl,” he said, kissing her cheek as she crawled into his lap. She didn’t stay long, soon plopping back down in Harry’s lap and patting his face.

“Dada dada dada,” she mumbled in her sleep addled state. Harry had been delighted a few weeks ago when she’d said it for the first time, and Louis had been so pleased for him too.

“That’s right baby, I’m your dada,” he said with a grin, holding her little hands as she rose on her shaky legs, bouncing on the mattress. Harry and Louis chatted for a few minutes until Harry yawned widely.

“Come on little lady, bedtime,” Louis said, scooping her up under her arms and bending her over so Harry could kiss her goodnight. He walked towards the doorway, stopping there to wave at Harry with Violet, Harry thinking his life was pretty perfect in that moment. He’d put his horrific past behind him and no matter the result in the court, he knew that  _ he  _ could never touch him again, that he’d never let him anywhere himself or his daughter ever again. His restraining order would prevent any contact, and he’d been granted full custody of Violet too. Louis and Violet were everything he ever wanted, and he felt incredibly lucky he’d been given a chance at love with someone like Louis.

“Night baby, sweet dreams,” he called as Louis and Violet waved at him again, before she shuffled, laying her tiny hands on Louis’ spiky cheeks, rubbing up and down. Harry snuggled back down in the bed then, and Louis looked at him with fond eyes as he turned off the big light, leaving the room bathed in the soft glow of Harry’s bedside lamp. Harry watched the tender moment between his daughter and his boyfriend quietly, loving the relationship the pair had.

Violet gazed at Louis in the eyes, a serious look upon her little face as her hands stilled, and in the silence, one little word she spoke to Louis made Harry’s dreams all come true, and Louis’ heart feel entirely full.

“Dada.”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment and/or kudos if you enjoyed this, it makes me day!
> 
> You might also consider [reblogging the fic post on tumblr ](https://chloehl10.tumblr.com/post/172829319711/wonder-how-i-ever-made-it-through-by-lovelarry10)to share the story if you like. Thank you.


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